and it’s ok.
I’m a love machine.
love doesn’t die
it goes dormant.
i think we love a lot of people
but we don’t do anything about it
so the love just chills
it chills in this
tiny drawer in our hearts
we never really realize
how infinite our love is
I don’t know why she always wore her hair in a side braid
Tied up the end
with a dark blue hair tie
with peach polka dots
Rare clumsy smiles cause her teeth were crooked
Cherry berry lips that looked like a new product from coca cola
cold eyes that I loved
The truth is I never really knew anything about her
I just liked the way she looked
Ok technically im pan and technically im black. Yes dear shook people I am a Pansexual , black woman with acne looking for love. Yes I live in a small mostly white country where people are ok with me being the black acquaintance but never their lover. Dare i try to date someone online and let them know im black my oh my do the tables turn. Honestly people get shook by the concept of black pussy it frighten’s white society so much. Yes I know there are successful interracial-lesbian etc couples out there and blah blah blah. But in this tiny white ass country can a hoe get some pussy without being racially blocked out. Ohh yes this applies to dick as well. You would think the lgbt community is a safer place for POC but hell no white pussy is the answer to every bodies desire. Idgaf what colour the pussy/dick/etc I eat is but can I get a fair chance at life it’s hard enough being human. Why do I even hope that one day people are not going to get freaked out by me in this small ass white ass country. What is this life I need a fucking holiday.
I met a dude online we seemed to have some shit in common. He seemed nice. I thought there was something there. As usual in my mind i was walking down the aisle in my white overalls and veil. I was happy with the dude but i guess he wasn’t happy with me. True I really pestered the dude but I thought he felt the same way. He smelt really good and he had really curly hair. He was somewhat shy. I just finished watching my mad fat diary season 1 episode 2 and now im pretty sure he is gay af. At least I hope he is gay as fuck or maybe I just have a shit personality. Maybe I am controlling I thought I was giving him advice to be a better person but idk maybe not. We sat by the river one time and watched the ducks swim past I felt invincible more than that I felt peace. The stars had aligned and there was peace. There was more joy in my heart than ever before.
The more I think about it he kinda looked like an alien with his big ass head. How dare the little bitch reject me not once, not twice, but four times. How dare I be so stupid to beg for shit. Wow this dude walked all over me and lied with the ” it’s not you its me” bull shit. What the fuck does that shit mean? Dear ladies and gentlemen if there is something wrong with a bitch tell her so she can make some fucking improvements. The alien bitch was apparently lost in life and I’m wondering how are you lost in life when you have google maps and free wifi ?? Honestly I’m glad that weak ass bitch isn’t in my life. Yes I sound bitter but do you know how much self doubt and depression I have had since he officially rejected me? Well I don’t enjoy suffering so I’m going to let everyone know my pain.
hey when an acne ridden 20 year old decides to call themselves pansexual you would think id be in countless orgies with dozens of lovers. Yeah nah it just means i get the chance to be rejected by countless randoms. I have had cringe worthy confessions and constant rejections. am I desperate maybe, I dont think it’s a bad thing to want to be loved but the disgusted stares of people i have pursued……. Make me wonder: Am I fucked up or is the world fucked up? Is it my personality or is it my face or a winning combination?